the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I believe in your delicious
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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