THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
