Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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