HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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