you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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