no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize