Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
