butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
