fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
