Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
