i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
