who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
