Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
