I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
