Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
