So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
