is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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