That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
