Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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