A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
