I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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