my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
