Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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