allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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