just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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