I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
