you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
