I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
