Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
