you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
