He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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