That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
