He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize