After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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