Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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