There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
