nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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