You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
