Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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