I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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