Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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