Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
