Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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