please come you make the beer taste better
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
