I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
