Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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