I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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