What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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