I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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