Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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