Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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