mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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