You're completely useless in the revolution.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
