i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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