I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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