i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
