Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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