for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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